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Thursday, February 19, 2004

The New Definition of Shamelessness: Ann Coulter Eats Babies

O.K., So I don't have any proof of this outrageous accusation, but by applying Ann's own standards of journalistic integrity, I don't have to. The burden of proof, for Ann Coulter, is always on those whom she accuses of treason, hypocrisy, etc. Does Ann Coulter eat babies? Well, she does eat, doesn't she? Thousands of babies dissappear every year, don't they? I'm sure if I do a Lexis-Nexis search, I could find a picture of Ann Coulter with a baby, couldn't I? Coincidence? I think not. After extensive research, I've concluded that we can't rule out the possibility that Ann Coulter eats babies. Come clean, Ann. How do you cook 'em?

Sure, this is a shameless accusation, but is it any more shameless than attempting to discredit Max Cleland, the former Georgia senator and triple amputee Vietnam combat veteran?

Shortly after drowning a burlap sack full of kittens in the Potomac, Coulter flew back to her cave and vomited the following into print in her column...

"Cleland wore the uniform, he was in Vietnam, and he has shown courage by going on to lead a productive life. But he didn't "give his limbs for his country," or leave them "on the battlefield." There was no bravery involved in dropping a grenade on himself with no enemy troops in sight".

Cleland lost his seat in the Senate to Saxby Chambliss, who had the chutzpah to smear Cleland as 'soft on terrorism' for refusing to sign the president's Homeland Security bill. Chambliss, predictably enough, is a Chickenhawk like Coulter.

It isn't enough for Coulter and Chambliss to send others off to fight their neocon wars for them; it isn't enough for them to smear their opponents...Oh no, they have to mock those who actually sacrificed and suffered for their country.

The English language has no invective harsh enough Coulter and Chambliss. Their wickedness requires an expansion of the vocabulary. Internet sex columnist Dan Savage assured the infamy of the bigot senator from Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum; let's do the same for Ann Coulter and Saxby Chambliss:

Please participate in the Shameless Antagonist's "New Definitions" Contest. I'll send a small token of my appreciation to the winner.

Coulter (noun):
Coulter (verb):
Chambliss (noun):
Chambliss (verb):

Please send not only a definition, but also an example of the word in context, for example:

"I slipped on a bananna peel and fell flat on my Chambliss!"

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