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Tuesday, March 16, 2004

I Agree With The Conservatives On Something!

The pending lawsuits against fast food restaurants are pathetic.

My hometown is home to Alliantech, the nation's largest landmine manufacturer...Since there's a McDonald's on every road in America, I can only assume anti-fast food activists have to drive by the factory where they make weapons designed to shred human beings on their way to protest our nation's hamburger-industrial complex.

I've yet to hear of anyone attempting to sue Alliantech because their product causes health problems. Therefore, I have to assume hamburgers are more dangerous than landmines.

Perhaps we should replace the landmines in the DMZ with happy meals. After a few months, the enemy will be too bloated and letharic to fight. If we airlift in a few million gameboys as well, we'll effectively neutralize the enemy American-style. Pretty soon they'll be reenforcing their furniture and washing their backs with rags on a stick.



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