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Saturday, February 18, 2006

Twice-Convicted Drunk Driver Bags Near-Perfect Metaphor

So Dick Cheney goes hunting with a rich campaign contributor and two women, Katherine Armstrong, and Pamela Willeford, the latter of which is described as his "hunting partner" for the weekend. They down a few beers at lunch, and they spend the afternoon "hunting" semi-domesticated quail until Cheney shoots his buddy in the face.

Now I'm not suggesting that Cheney was loaded when he shot Whittington in the face, and I'm not suggesting he has a mistress, but I do have one question:

How do you think the media would have reacted if Al Gore had found himself in similar circumstances?

Honestly, I don't give a damn about Cheney's personal life, and if we lose a Texas billionaire here or there because of his carelessness with firearms, I'm not going to get my undies in a bunch about it.

Compared to the other scandals surrounding this vp, quailgate is a trifle. It is, however, a near-perfect metaphor.

You see, Cheney isn't a hunter. He's a man who loves to slaughter. He participates in canned hunts in which he routinely shoots dozens if not hundreds of farm-raised critters. True hunters, such as members of the Isak Walton League find it to be a corrupt bastardization of a time-honored tradition. The only way this incident could be a clearer analogy for the foreign policy of the Bush administration would be if Cheney had shot a low-income single mother rather than a Texas blueblood.

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