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Saturday, December 13, 2003

The Conservative Paradise Already Exists…

Congratulations, Mr. Cheney. Over the last three years, remarkable progress has been made. Thanks to Republican control of the house, senate, executive, judiciary, and media, you’ve pushed through many of the most important items of the conservative agenda. Among your accomplishments are:
...Lowered federal taxes and the repeal of estate taxes…After all, it’s not the government’s money, it’s your money.
· Slashed funding for social programs.
· Weakened power of labor unions.
· Decreased corporate regulations, taxes, and oversight
· Subcontracted military work to your former company, Halliburton.
· Handguns? Sure, we got handguns. Lots of ‘em.

Despite all of your accomplishments, it’s just simply not enough, is it? So much more must be done to make America a Mecca for conservatives. The fact that Bush’s disapproval numbers are almost as high as his approval numbers, and that a substantial number of Americans are hostile to your agenda might begin to make you wonder…Is this as good as it gets? Are Democrats, greens, and other lower forms of life regrouping and regaining power? The answer is yes. The fiery campaign rhetoric of Howard Dean is striking a chord with Americans, and soon the pendulum will swing to the left once again. Your days as VP are numbered.

After you’re voted out of office, don’t despair. The Conservative paradise you’ve always envisioned is no pipe dream….

The conservative paradise you’ve always dreamed of is real, and it’s waiting for you!
· Lower taxes? Try no taxes!
· Government regulations on your business?…As if!
· Workers willing to work for next to nothing.
· Extensive gas, oil, and mineral reserves.
· No social programs whatsoever.
· Labor unions? Environmentalists? Why negotiate when you can kill them?
· Women’s rights? Pshaw.

President Cheney, Welcome to sunny Nigeria! Come see what America would look like if all your social policies were inacted!

I’m willing to splurge and pay for your one-way ticket!

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