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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Don't Stop Believin'

A recent AP press release cited the following as the favorite albums of the Democratic contenders. My generation has always believed that our musical taste is the avatar of our souls. Bearing this in mind, I've attempted to analyize the psychology of the leading Democratic contenders based upon their musical taste.

Wesley Clark: "Journey-Greatest Hits"
A cheesy, hard-rocking sap. Wes secretly aspires to a Steve Perry mullet.
Howard Dean: Music by Wyclef Jean
Does he really listen to Wyclef? I can't picture it. Howard's the schizzle.
Sen. John Edwards: "The Essential Bruce Springsteen"
I'm sure image-conscious Edwards with his clean fingernails and perfect hair hired a team of marketing wonks to find the right music to resonate with working-class Americans. I like him, but this seems almost less plausible than How-dogg's musical taste. I'm curious: which Springsteen songs are essential? "Tunnel of Love"? For people under 50, I'd say none of them. I had him pegged for a Skynard fan....Freebird!
Rep. Dennis Kucinich: Music by Willie Nelson
O.K. Willie has written some great songs, but you have to wonder about a guy that would actually intentionally listen to a full Willie Nelson album. Ever since he sang "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" with Julio Iglecias, I've vowed retribution from beyond the grave.
Sen. Joe Lieberman: "Sueno" by Andrea Bocelli
What do you expect from a Connecticut eleteist in his 60's? Bocelli, that's who.
Al Sharpton: Music by Yolanda Adams
Who is Yolanda Adams? I'm disappointed. I'd to vote for any candidate that prefers James Brown, Spearhead, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, or Marvin Gaye. Al, you could've had my vote. Don't just copy James Brown's hairstyle--listen to the music!
Sen. John Kerry (news - web sites): "Abbey Road" by the Beatles. As the candidate who most resembles an emaciated basset hound, Kerry's choice seems authentic. An album of loss and melancholy regret tinged with hopefullness; stoned thinking man's album.

If I were to choose a candidate solely on musical taste, I'd have to go with Kerry or Dean.

What does George W. Bush listen to? I'd have to guess Kenny G. and Michael Bolton.

What do you think?

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