I Get Hate Mail Yesterday, I received a prototypical forwarded, hate-filled email. It went a little something like this: "Congress, do you get it? Wake up! HISTORY TEST 1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by a. Superman b. Jay Leno c. Harry Potter d. a Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40" The chain email then mentions the 1972 Munich Olympics, the takeover of the Iranian Embassy, the original bombing of the World Trade Center, etc--all with the familiar tag line. I bet you can see where it's headed... "11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by: a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd b. The Supreme Court of Florida c. Mr. Bean d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against: a. Enron b. The Lutheran Church c. The NFL d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 Come on people, wake up!!! Keep this going. Pass it on to everyone in your address book. Our Country and our troops need our support. And guess who just bombed London?" Here is my response: The "History Test" you forwarded is from an organization called "ROPMA", which stands for "Religion of Peace, My Ass". While the message is ostensibly about airport screening, the details of the quiz put forth the philosophy of ROPMA quite succintly: That Islam is a bloodthirsty, murderous religion. and that muslim men between 17 and 40 are our enemies. It's obvious why this message is so commonplace on conservative blogs. If we can label all muslims--not just the bastards that attack us--as bloodthirsty thugs, we can feel better about killing them. History Test: 1. In 1957 police search the home of a murder suspect. Inside the home, authorities found severed heads acting as bedposts in the bedroom, skin used to make lampshades and chair seats, skullcaps made into soup bowls. This serial killer was... A. Ed Gein B. George Bush C. Curious George D. A White Male Christian Extremist between the ages of 19 and 65. 2. In 1968, Although it will not become public knowledge for more than a year, US ground troops from Charlie Company rampage through the hamlet of My Lai killing more than 500 Vietnamese civilians from infants to the elderly. The massacre continued for three hours until three American fliers intervened. Those responsible for the killing were... A. Innocent kids just following orders B. The Pentagon brass C. Colin Powell D. White Christian Male Extremists between the ages of 19 and 65. 3. In 1984, a gunman used a nine-millimeter Uzi carbine, a Winchester pump-action twelve-gauge shotgun, and a nine-millimeter Browning semi-automatic pistol in a San Ysidro McDonald's, killing 21 people and wounding 19 others. This mass-murderer was.... A. Ronald MacDonald B. The Hamburglar C. A liberal, tree-hugging pacifist D. A White Christian Male extremist between the ages of 19 and 65. 4. In 1995, A truck filled with explosives blew up the federal building in Oklahoma City. The man responsible for this killing was: A. Bill Clinton, whose affair with Monica made this happen. B. Hillary Clinton, who secretly funded the mission on behalf of Greenpeace C. Janet Reno. Remember Ruby Ridge! D. A White Christian Male Extremist between the ages of 19 and 65. 5. In 2003, the moron declaring "Mission Accomplished" in Iraq while aboard an carrier outside San Diego was.. A. The greatest president we've ever had. B. The man who is accountable for starting the Iraq War. C. Unwilling to send his own daughters to fight for such a noble cause. D. A White Christian Male Extremist between the ages of 19 and 65. Answer Key: #1: A and D are both correct. If you've answered with B, you're thinking of the wrong serial killer. #2: B and D are both correct. Answer C receives partial credit--Colin Powell paid a pivotal role in the coverup while serving as an officer in Vietnam. If you answered A and you haven't served in the military yourself, you're a dick. #3: The correct answer is D. Although Ronald MacDonald and the Hamburgalar could be considered partially responsible for premature deaths due to heart disease, strokes, high blood pressure, etc, it would be a stretch to label them mass-murderers. #4: The correct answer is D, although I eschew the multiple choice format from a pedagogical standpoint. #5: Answers C and D receive full credit. If you answered B, you don't know our president. He isn't accountable for anything.